The One with the Interference

Dear Readers,

"Mama said there'll be days like this..."

I am angry. I wanted to call this "The One with the Rage" but I will save that title for another day. I feel there are more of these days to come.

Last night I got yelled at by a lot of people. I can't share all the gory details with you because that is not really my information to tell. Have you ever been in a situation where your friends are trying to do right by you but they just end up upsetting you? I have. It is not just friends, some people get involved in my business who have nothing to do with the situation. I am just tired of it.

Half of my problems are created because I care way too much about what people will think. Why should I care? I don't know but I do. I think that can be a good quality though. I take other people's feelings into account. And those who know me think I talk about absolutely everything I am feeling but I don't always share all of the information. Well, I can't keep going. Otherwise, I will just be ranting for hours and no one wants to read that.

But I am just wondering...where is the line between helping a friend and hurting them?

-Katie Starlet

The One with Disappointment

Dear Readers,

I don't want to broadcast too much to the world because a few people actually read this. Anyway I am so disappointed in myself today. Do you ever have days like that? I did terribly on a final and I have to retake a class. I would say "I don't want to talk about it," but clearly I am talking about it here.

What disappoints me the most is the fact that there were some classes I missed because I simply slept through my alarm. I just feel dumb when stuff like that happens. I mean that was something I could easily have avoided. Arrggghh!

And I am not stupid which is what upsets me the most. I am intelligent and I actually like school. I love learning, I love discussions in classes, and especially new school supplies. Professors don't typically scare me and I get along with my peers. I think all of these qualities are beneficial but unfortunately they don't grade you based on personality.

So today, I am sorry to report I have no good advice and I don't really have much pep to my step. I am sure my day will improve though. I get to spend time with friends tonight. There is always next year to improve right?

-Katie Starlet

The One with all the Wishes

Dear Readers,

Hello. It is a beautiful day outside and I am feeling very optimistic about my life. I love days like these.

I had lunch with my Dad today. We have a nice relationship. I don't know how it came up but it got me thinking about wishes. My parents have been married for almost 25 years and I am so fortunate that I have had them all of my life. I have never had to question what is most important to them in my life; I already know it is my brother and I.

I started thinking about wishes. I have a pile of wishes. Typically I wish for the same types of things and usually they are somewhat attainable. I feel they are realistic goals but I will need a little bit of luck to reach them. Anyway I started thinking about the wishes other people have. I feel it would be a very intimate thing to hear everyone else's wishes.

I imagine some people, like my parents, would wish for my brother and I to have extremely happy and fulfilling lives. That is selfless and thoughtful, just like my parents are. I think some people probably dream of owning a home, or traveling, or even just for a meal. Just an interesting thought I had. And if I can, I hope to help make other people's wishes come true.

So tell me, what are the things you wish for most in life?

-Katie Starlet

The One with the Papers

Dear Readers,

I feel slightly better after a night of fitful sleep. I have spent most of the day and night working on my papers which are due very soon. I did not want to forget to write to you today. I do not enjoy writing papers which is amusing because I have to constantly write for my major.

However, I find that the more papers I write the better I get. This may seem like an obvious statement but I think it speaks to an even bigger theme, whatever we do in life, the more experience we have, the better we will be. I do care about the grades I get on these papers but I care more that they are exemplary of my skills as a writer. I will let you know how it goes.

Ponder this, what have you gained experience in and how does that make you special?

-Katie Starlet

The One with Big Decisions

Dear Readers,

Decisions. They are a crucial part of everyone's life. Based on certain decisions we make, we either end up married or raising children or in college, we can be sober, abstinent, rich or poor, sad or lonely, happy, and decided whether we live a fulfilling life or not. Some decisions are small, like what kind of ice cream should I eat, chocolate or vanilla? Others are much bigger, Should I raise this baby or put it up for adoption?

I have some big decisions coming up. And I don't know what to do. I know this is not something that any of you can answer and honestly, I am not at liberty to post the particular situations I am debating. I just know that sometimes, no matter what people choose, someone gets hurt. I also know that our decisions affect other people even if we don't plan it that way.

And during all of this decision-making, I still have finals. I am currently preparing for an all-nighter. Today, my question to myself is, how do I get in these messes? And how can I ever get out?

-Katie Starlet

The One with the Best Parents

Dear Readers,

Hello. So last night my Dad dropped off my "finals package" from them [my Mom and Dad]. I should give you a disclaimer, I am a crier and I am very sentimental but this was a whole other level.

They gave me an adorable striped shirt that is nautical (my favorite style). Then, they gave me some of my favorite snack foods. I also got two things for my favorite (stuffed) puppy. He is now wearing flip flops, khakis, an argyle sweater, and glasses. He looks intellectual and ready for finals week. They got me a movie and some bubbles for a study break. And my favorite item was a book about Shakespeare. Not to mention, a wonderful card. Now if I am not the most fortunate daughter in the world I don't know who is.

I am sure to finish strong this week with support like that. But it makes me wonder, one day, will I be able to reflect the wonderful qualities my parents have demonstrated for me?

-Katie Starlet

The One Where We're Growing Up

Dear Readers,

Sorry about last night. I passed out! I had not slept in 48 hours! Also, since I tend to get distracted I don't really know the thought process I was going through last night and so I don't really know what else to say about yesterday. I will just continue with today's happenings.

Today, I helped my friends move into their very first home. It was just as exciting for me as it was for them. I appreciated the experience because someday a LONG time from now, I will move into my own home and I will need to know what to do. As the day progressed, many people, that I grew up, with came too and it was just so pleasant. We were able to sit and chat and the conversations were so different than what we used to talk about. We have progressed from driver's licenses and youth group to weddings, children, and careers. However, I did have everyone laughing at me. I was complaining about getting older but they are all slightly older than I am.

I loved the support everyone had for each other. I mean ten people showed up to help two people move in and start a new home together. It was so sweet. It just made me realize that I have so many friends who I truly believe would help me through those fun and exciting times in life.It is nice to know that I will have people who will love me and support me in my life. It gives me hope and a smile and I'm thankful.

And I wonder, am I a friend like that to others? Will I be there for the happy times in their life?

-Katie Starlet

The One with all the Appreciation

Dear Readers,

Just to clarify, (in case this doesn't post in time) this blog entry is for Friday.

Today I am blessed beyond belief. I have the most wonderful group of friends in the entire world. I would like to stress the word ENTIRE! I have been going through a really rough patch lately and I know that has shown in my writing and my attitude. Anyway, now that actual classes are over, all that is left are the finals. So stress is high right now but there is a lot more time to organize your thoughts and to catch up on some sleep.

Tonight I went to dinner with my co-workers. We had a fantastic dinner with several courses and lots of laughter. We got to reminisce on the past year and the unique experiences we have had. Although on the way back home . . . (Unfortunately this post will have to be continued tomorrow due to a case of the . . . zzzzzzzzz!)

The One with the Laughter

Dear Readers,

Today I made my professor laugh. I don't even remember exactly what I said but it was a great feeling. I think the most attractive accessory to any outfit is a smile. I doubt I am the first to say that but I thought I would insert that in my commentary.Making people laugh is my favorite thing in the whole world. If I can spend the rest of my life making people laugh, I will die happy.

I don't have a whole lot to say but I am happy to report that I am having a wonderful day. The sun is out again, I am almost done for the semester, and I am being very productive so all in all it has been a great day. I am planning on having a fantastic weekend so I'll keep you updated!

-Katie Starlet

The One with Importance

Dear Readers,

I will keep this short and sweet. Today in one of my English classes we talked about the importance of language. One of the books we are reading is actually a collection of essays. While discussing this particular essay today, we came to the conclusion that language is a necessary part of our nation. This may sound obvious but it sounded so profound to me. Our professor said, "Our world is accessible to us because of language." I loved that. And it helps me think of a response to all the haters.

So many people ask me how English is important to my life and what I am going to do with it. You know what I say?..."Um, excuse me. What language do we speak in this country?" I mean in a world where English is such a crucial language, how could I NOT find work?

Maybe I am just an eternal optimist. But here is what I think. Why does our major in college have to mean something? Shouldn't we just be more focused on going out and making a difference in the world?

-Katie Starlet

The One with the Sunshine

Dear Readers,

All six of you. Yay! Hello. Today was a much better day than yesterday and it is only five! I am in the process of fixing my insurance business for the wreck. My car is SOL but she's a soldier and will be fine for a few more years I would say.

I am almost done with classes and I am trying to be as productive as I can be every moment of the day so I can avoid a stress overload next week.

I had a picnic at lunch with some friends and read outside on a bench after class. It was lovely. I have realized that even though I have my bad days, the good ones often outweigh the bad. I have one friend who just found out she can't have children and another friend that is now unable to go to nursing school after two very hard years of work. I can't really complain. I am alive and well. I have friends and occasionally get some sleep. And today, I get to enjoy the sunshine.

I have noticed lately that when the sun is out in the morning I am much more likely to have a good day. I also know that when I dress up I feel better about myself. And exercise makes me feel like a beast (endorphins and all that you know.) So if these things are true and if everyone dressed up each day and found time to exercise and if we could control the weather, would our world be different?

-Katie Starlet

The One with all the Angst

Dear Readers,

I am watching Sex and the City again. What else? I am having the worst day today. I have decided that I am just going to be angry and overwhelmed until the end of the year. I don't like being that way or seen as a pessimist but that is just the way I feel today. Actually the word that immediately comes to mind is dejected. I feel dejected. Like a failure. First a car wreck, then I bomb my portfolio, and everything has just been downhill ever since.

I wish I could tell you all the terrible things that have happened but you would get bored and it would take up 14 pages! Today, I am freaking about my grades and school in general. I don't want to be a college dropout. And I know I should not whine so much. People are starving and dying all over the world but everything is just so hard. I know I sound so whiny and pathetic. I wish I had better news to report but sadly today, I don't.

On the bright side, despite feeling like a failure, I have actually been quite productive today. But I wonder...will I ever be able to stop and take a breather?

-Katie Starlet

The One with all the Banquets

Dear Readers,

I now have four followers! Yay! Well today was a much better day than the last few days have been. I had several banquets to attend and I even won a few awards! Today felt rewarding both in my head and in my heart.

I spent the night with two of my very best friends after having a home-cooked meal that was TO DIE FOR! We fell asleep watching FRIENDS. I was able to talk about some personal problems that I have been struggling with lately and they put me at ease and as I drifted off to sleep I just felt that I was loved and supported by many people and I love that feeling!

Tonight, we also had a floor event that many people attended and I got to learn more about their lives. That is rewarding in itself but I also feel so fortunate that I have residents who participate. RA's are often laughed at or disrespected but I have not had to deal with that because I have been blessed with wonderful people on my floor.

I can't believe school is coming to a close so soon though. I have many friends that are graduating and everyone else just can't seem to get away fast enough. I have never understood that; I try to understand their mindset but I just can't. In a place where I am so independent and free how could I possibly want to leave? Not only that but eventually I will have to go out into "the real world."

You know what I have always found funny? My Dad always says, "Just wait until you get out in the real world." I am sure some people who are younger than me would immediately think he means the show on MTV but also I find it weird because I have to ask him, "Where have I been living until now? The fake world?" Maybe this is one of those situations where you have to be there but I find that a valid question. I know in reality he means that I will have to start paying all of my bills and move out on my own and cook and clean and work and find all of the motivation for that myself. Now that is a disconcerting thought!

These are the questions I will have to face soon enough. I'm not ready to yet. But really...are we ever ready to venture out into the "real world?"

-Katie Starlet

The One with the Wreck

Dear Readers,

Got in my first car wreck today. I don't want to disclose much information about it except to say that I am okay and the thought of disappointing my family is consuming my every thought.

However, I did Race for the Cure this morning and I did feel quite a sense of accomplishment. I went with some of my good girlfriends and they really cheered me up.

I just want to go to sleep and wake up and have every problem in the world fixed, or at least my world. I know that makes me sound self-absorbed. And I know that is wishful thinking but I feel like lately I am in a constant state of being overwhelmed. Do you ever feel that way? I am sure everyone does at some point.

Tom Petty once said, "It'll all work out." But my question is will it? Will it really all work out?"

-Katie Starlet

The One with the Rude Comments

Dear Reader,

Hello followers! I now have three! So do you ever have one of those mornings where you wake up and you just know it is not going to be the day that you planned? Today is one of those days. I got to a class that I rarely get to, let alone get there before class starts, and a girl said to me "Well, look who decided to show up to class." Normally, being the person I am, I could have shrugged that off but I didn't. I said, "Thanks! That makes me feel a whole lot better about myself!" That shut her up. But instead of feeling better, I proceeded to worry about it for the rest of the class. I have yet to apologize to the girl but I imagine I will say something by the end of the day.

To make things worse, after the unbearably long lecture I felt like quitting school. Which brings me to another question: Do you ever feel like you bust your butt to get good grades and not only do you not get them, but people who actually do nothing are getting better grades than you? It is a hard truth to bare that life just isn't fair.

Later, I was sitting on some steps enjoying a few moments of sunshine, because at this point Vitamen D is the only thing that keeping me going, and my "friend" walks past and says, "Hey slut." Now, I know to some of you this may be a term of endearment but to me (the furthest thing from a slut) I am slightly insulted. To some of these people who insult me I think of the things I could call them..."Hey, borderline alcoholic!...Hey, never had a real job in your life girl/guy!...Hey Sir-Sleeps-Around-A-Lot!" I mean technically I could call them equally insulting names but I choose not to because what will that accomplish?

Anyway I am thoroughly distraught because it isn't even noon yet and there is a lot of day left to live where I can further be insulted. So now I am writing a paper, (yeah, the one I didn't finish yesterday) and drowning my sorrows with some milk and cookies and watching Sex and the City.

Ponder this...Is all of this hard work ever going to pay off? And what's up with everyone's attitude?

-Katie Starlet

The One at the Beginning

Dear Reader,

I am actually going to try to stick to this. I am good at sticking to things once I set my mind to it but it can become difficult due to time constraints. I will try and keep this short and sweet because I also have a tendency to talk a lot! First of all, I wish to name each post starting with "The One..." which is a tribute to my favorite show in the world...FRIENDS! Here goes...

Today was beautiful day outside. I enjoyed as much of it as I could. I also got to go shopping and I got an interview for a job tomorrow! I am going to write a paper tonight; my fourth paper this week! That's right...FOUR! Being an English major does mean I can expect to read and write a lot but that doesn't mean good writing comes naturally to me.

I must write my paper so I shall pose this question (without copying too much, I would like to preface this by saying that I would like to end each entry with a question just like Carrie Bradshaw. Judge me if you want.)

Why are people weird? I know this is an unanswerable question but seriously what is up with people? And how do they find me?

-Katie Starlet