Dear Readers,
I realize I have not written in a month and on the off chance that someone still reads this I figured I would add to it. And I will try to do so more now that I have passed my emotional stage of this summer.
When I look at my life this summer I cannot believe the changed that have occurred. I think about how sad I was back in May. I don't know that I can say I was depressed but my life was devoid of meaning. I was walking through a fog. I did not have much to smile about and I was zapped of my usual optimism. I went on the vacation where I was supposed to get engaged. I broke down a few times and cried quietly in the bathroom. My girl friend accompanied my family. (And that is a girl that is just a friend. I haven't changed my preference!)I have continued with my job here and later today is one of the final obligations I have to fulfill for the summer. I have a few weeks left here but when I sit back and think about what day it is I cannot believe I made it this far. I am so proud and so happy with my life right now. When I got back from vacation it was like the true grieving process was over.
I think this is the stage they call "acceptance." I have accepted what is going on in my life. I accept that for now, I am alone. I accept that I have lost some friends this summer. I accept that only certain people will always care enough to check on me. I accept that I am only human. I accept that I made mistakes and so did Brian. I accept that I am still in love. I accept that I am a work in progress.
How patient do I have to be?
-Katie Starlet
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The One With a Flicker of Hope
Dear Readers,
Yesterday someone told me, "I will forgive you." Those words changed my life. What is better than forgiveness? Someone is allowing you to have another chance. They are accepting the past and moving forward. Well, that's how I view it. I hope that is what is means.
Life is improving, SLOWLY but surely. All I can do is see what I've done and pick up the pieces and salvage what's left. I don't understand everything right now but I can't stop life. The world will keep turning whether I have a broken heart or not. So as Morgan Freeman says in "Shawshank Redemption," "Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." I choose life.
Today, I laughed a lot. I cried just like every other day but I also laughed. I decided for once, to finish the day with laughter though instead of tears. I am reading a hilarious book and I am literally laughing out loud. I love when that happens.
Tomorrow will bring worries of it's own but as Katie Scarlet O'Hara says, "I'll think about that tomorra."
Even though there have been tears and mistakes can we try it again...please?
-Katie Starlet
Yesterday someone told me, "I will forgive you." Those words changed my life. What is better than forgiveness? Someone is allowing you to have another chance. They are accepting the past and moving forward. Well, that's how I view it. I hope that is what is means.
Life is improving, SLOWLY but surely. All I can do is see what I've done and pick up the pieces and salvage what's left. I don't understand everything right now but I can't stop life. The world will keep turning whether I have a broken heart or not. So as Morgan Freeman says in "Shawshank Redemption," "Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." I choose life.
Today, I laughed a lot. I cried just like every other day but I also laughed. I decided for once, to finish the day with laughter though instead of tears. I am reading a hilarious book and I am literally laughing out loud. I love when that happens.
Tomorrow will bring worries of it's own but as Katie Scarlet O'Hara says, "I'll think about that tomorra."
Even though there have been tears and mistakes can we try it again...please?
-Katie Starlet
Sunday, June 13, 2010
The One with Pettyness
Dear Readers,
I love love love Tom Petty. My subject today is a double entendre. One of my favorite movies is "Elizabethtown." In that movie there are two of my favorite Tom Petty songs, "Learning to Fly" and "Square One." This summer, I am learning to fly without wings. I have nothing now which also means I have nothing to lose. I have lost everything that mattered to me. Everything I loved. Everything that made me feel special. Everything that gave me hope for a future.
I believe in second chances. I believe in a hundred chances. I believe people can change for the better. That is where "Square One" comes in. My slate is clear. It took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears, it took a long time to get back here. I deserve a clean slate and second chances.
Which brings me to the other meaning, pettiness. Petty means "having little or no importance or consequence." It can also mean "showing or caused by meanness of spirit." Acting petty is a waste of time. It is meaningless. All it does is hurt and destroy people.
In "Elizabethtown" there is a family feud that has literally gone on for decades all because people cannot overcome their own stubborn and petty nature. My mother told me to never go to bed angry. It says that in the Bible too. I no longer go to bed angry let alone for weeks on end. It accomplishes nothing.
But I digress, in the movie, Susan Sarandon speaks at her husband's funeral and what she says stops everyone in their tracks and makes them realize how stupid each of them has been for so long. She says, "We were complete opposites, and it worked...The plan was to send my son to represent the family. I was terrified that you would look at me and see that woman from California who took him away...even though we only lived in California for 18 months, 27 years ago..." After that, the room was silent. And people just sat around the room looking taken aback and ashamed.
You may have noticed that I put up many song and movie quotes. That is because I truly feel we have a lot to learn from these experiences. After all, songs and movies are based on experiences people gain from real life.
Self discovery is very important. But what good will it do if you have no one to share it with?
-Katie Starlet
I love love love Tom Petty. My subject today is a double entendre. One of my favorite movies is "Elizabethtown." In that movie there are two of my favorite Tom Petty songs, "Learning to Fly" and "Square One." This summer, I am learning to fly without wings. I have nothing now which also means I have nothing to lose. I have lost everything that mattered to me. Everything I loved. Everything that made me feel special. Everything that gave me hope for a future.
I believe in second chances. I believe in a hundred chances. I believe people can change for the better. That is where "Square One" comes in. My slate is clear. It took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears, it took a long time to get back here. I deserve a clean slate and second chances.
Which brings me to the other meaning, pettiness. Petty means "having little or no importance or consequence." It can also mean "showing or caused by meanness of spirit." Acting petty is a waste of time. It is meaningless. All it does is hurt and destroy people.
In "Elizabethtown" there is a family feud that has literally gone on for decades all because people cannot overcome their own stubborn and petty nature. My mother told me to never go to bed angry. It says that in the Bible too. I no longer go to bed angry let alone for weeks on end. It accomplishes nothing.
But I digress, in the movie, Susan Sarandon speaks at her husband's funeral and what she says stops everyone in their tracks and makes them realize how stupid each of them has been for so long. She says, "We were complete opposites, and it worked...The plan was to send my son to represent the family. I was terrified that you would look at me and see that woman from California who took him away...even though we only lived in California for 18 months, 27 years ago..." After that, the room was silent. And people just sat around the room looking taken aback and ashamed.
You may have noticed that I put up many song and movie quotes. That is because I truly feel we have a lot to learn from these experiences. After all, songs and movies are based on experiences people gain from real life.
Self discovery is very important. But what good will it do if you have no one to share it with?
-Katie Starlet
The One with Holes
Dear Readers,
Here is a quote I wanted to share with you. I doctored it a bit.
I am coin in the United States mint. I was minted in the year 19--. I have been punched from sheet metal, I have been stamped and cleaned, my ridges have been rubbed and beveled. And now I have two huge holes in me. I am no longer in perfect condition. So there's something else I want to tell you. Right before everything went black, you want to know the very last thing that entered my mind?...You.
If I made a mistake, if I am flawed, if I am human, why did I lose everything?
-Katie Starlet
Here is a quote I wanted to share with you. I doctored it a bit.
I am coin in the United States mint. I was minted in the year 19--. I have been punched from sheet metal, I have been stamped and cleaned, my ridges have been rubbed and beveled. And now I have two huge holes in me. I am no longer in perfect condition. So there's something else I want to tell you. Right before everything went black, you want to know the very last thing that entered my mind?...You.
If I made a mistake, if I am flawed, if I am human, why did I lose everything?
-Katie Starlet
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The One with June 10th
Dear Readers,
Woke up, wished that I was dead, with an achin' in my head, thought of you, and where you'd gone, and the world spins madly on. -The Weepies
My favorite Co-RA contacted me today, Liz talked to me for an hour and half, Rachel e-mailed, my Dad listened to me cry, Amanda sincerely cared, Kara sympathized with me and helped me make plans to begin again tomorrow, my co-workers distracted me, my mother e-mailed me, Brett liked my status, Brentie took me to get ice cream, Ashley sat with me, and God watched over me the entire day.
and never knowin' what couldv'e been, and not seein' that love in you, is what I was trying to do. -The Rascal Flatts
To err is human; to forgive, divine.
Did you really give up on me? Two months or three years? Anger or forgiveness?
-Katie Starlet
Friday, June 4, 2010
The One for Brian
Dear Readers,
Early this morning I wrote my 35th letter. I have put my heart in the ink and put it on paper. At this point I don't know what else to do. I only know that I have done what I can. I know that my heart is big and clearly strong enough to survive the hardest time in my entire life I just hope that you can see that too. I don't need a fairytale or a ring or even chocolate and flowers, all I want is another chance with you. You are my best friend, you give me strength, you give me hope, and you have loved me when I was unlovable. I do believe there is a God and I hope he will answer both of our prayers. I love you Brian.
What do you say?
-Katie Starlet
Early this morning I wrote my 35th letter. I have put my heart in the ink and put it on paper. At this point I don't know what else to do. I only know that I have done what I can. I know that my heart is big and clearly strong enough to survive the hardest time in my entire life I just hope that you can see that too. I don't need a fairytale or a ring or even chocolate and flowers, all I want is another chance with you. You are my best friend, you give me strength, you give me hope, and you have loved me when I was unlovable. I do believe there is a God and I hope he will answer both of our prayers. I love you Brian.
What do you say?
-Katie Starlet
Monday, May 24, 2010
The One with True Friendship
Dear Readers,
Today I had a friend call me. This lit up my day. She talked to me and listened and that made all of the difference. Then I had two friends visit me. They drove to see me and we went out for drinks and dinner. It was wonderful. I laughed and I smiled. I shared my stories with them and they listened and gave some wonderful advice. It was an answer to one of my prayers to know that not just one, but several people, cared. I don't have to have someone drive to come see me but a simple phone call turned my day around.
What is a friend?
-Katie Starlet
Today I had a friend call me. This lit up my day. She talked to me and listened and that made all of the difference. Then I had two friends visit me. They drove to see me and we went out for drinks and dinner. It was wonderful. I laughed and I smiled. I shared my stories with them and they listened and gave some wonderful advice. It was an answer to one of my prayers to know that not just one, but several people, cared. I don't have to have someone drive to come see me but a simple phone call turned my day around.
What is a friend?
-Katie Starlet
Thursday, May 20, 2010
The One Where I'm Lonely
Dear Readers,
(Or lack thereof) I am lonely. Not just lonely but I feel abandoned. I know the world does not revolve around me. I am not the only one with problems but my world is falling apart right now and no one cares. No one calls, no one visits, no one.
Where have all the people gone?
-Katie Starlet
(Or lack thereof) I am lonely. Not just lonely but I feel abandoned. I know the world does not revolve around me. I am not the only one with problems but my world is falling apart right now and no one cares. No one calls, no one visits, no one.
Where have all the people gone?
-Katie Starlet
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The One with the 35th Post
Dear Readers,
I am considering quitting this blog. No one reads it and I am depressed. But at least I made it to the 35th day.
Why try?
-Katie Starlet
I am considering quitting this blog. No one reads it and I am depressed. But at least I made it to the 35th day.
Why try?
-Katie Starlet
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The One Where Even Puke Won't Bring Us Together
Dear Reader,
Sorry I was unable to write yesterday. I don't have much to say right now. My life is topsy-turvy as of late. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I am making progress or if I should even try anymore. I am just so discouraged! I don't have anything positive to say right now and I have no idea what my next move will be. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.
What more can I do?
-Katie Starlet
Sorry I was unable to write yesterday. I don't have much to say right now. My life is topsy-turvy as of late. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I am making progress or if I should even try anymore. I am just so discouraged! I don't have anything positive to say right now and I have no idea what my next move will be. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.
What more can I do?
-Katie Starlet
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The One with God
Dear Readers,
I went to church today and I felt good about it because I haven't been in such a long time. I feel like through all of this pain, loneliness, and sadness, I have been able to seek out God and find answers or new opportunities...even if things are not going the way I planned them. I hope these next two days are rewarding and fulfilling and that God will answer some of my prayers.
Life never goes the way we plan it does it?
-Katie Starlet
I went to church today and I felt good about it because I haven't been in such a long time. I feel like through all of this pain, loneliness, and sadness, I have been able to seek out God and find answers or new opportunities...even if things are not going the way I planned them. I hope these next two days are rewarding and fulfilling and that God will answer some of my prayers.
Life never goes the way we plan it does it?
-Katie Starlet
Saturday, May 15, 2010
The One with Progress
Dear Readers,
I helped with a wedding today and it was such a rewarding experience. I mean that sincerely in every way possible. I almost feel like this summer was meant to change my life. "They" say in college that you find yourself. And it seems like one day, without even realizing it...you do.
The families of the bride and groom were some of the nicest people I have ever met. They were hospitable, funny, and supportive. Everything that happened today made me more and more grateful of what I have. The family primarily came from three different states but what was interesting was that more than 90% of the guests were from out of town or out of state! They traveled everything from two hours to sixteen! I can't even describe the amount of love within this family. I really wish I could get everything out now but quite frankly I'm tired.
What comes after self-discovery?
-KatieStarlet
I helped with a wedding today and it was such a rewarding experience. I mean that sincerely in every way possible. I almost feel like this summer was meant to change my life. "They" say in college that you find yourself. And it seems like one day, without even realizing it...you do.
The families of the bride and groom were some of the nicest people I have ever met. They were hospitable, funny, and supportive. Everything that happened today made me more and more grateful of what I have. The family primarily came from three different states but what was interesting was that more than 90% of the guests were from out of town or out of state! They traveled everything from two hours to sixteen! I can't even describe the amount of love within this family. I really wish I could get everything out now but quite frankly I'm tired.
What comes after self-discovery?
-KatieStarlet
Friday, May 14, 2010
The One with Hope
Dear Readers,
Today I experienced a glimmer of hope. I got two job interviews for next week and I am still waiting to hear back from a few places. I got to talk to my friend again. I think this is a good sign. I am excited to see what will happen next week. I am excited about giving him my masterpiece.
I am also starting to notice healthy changes in myself because of all of this. So far in my internship, I have been EARLY to every single event! Today I was 45 minutes early! I also got to visit a bookstore today which is one of my favorite places on earth. I was able to drive along many country roads and saw beautiful horses. I rolled down my window, felt the breeze and the sunshine on my face, and slowly, I am starting to have hope.
But where do I go from here?
-Katie Starlet
Today I experienced a glimmer of hope. I got two job interviews for next week and I am still waiting to hear back from a few places. I got to talk to my friend again. I think this is a good sign. I am excited to see what will happen next week. I am excited about giving him my masterpiece.
I am also starting to notice healthy changes in myself because of all of this. So far in my internship, I have been EARLY to every single event! Today I was 45 minutes early! I also got to visit a bookstore today which is one of my favorite places on earth. I was able to drive along many country roads and saw beautiful horses. I rolled down my window, felt the breeze and the sunshine on my face, and slowly, I am starting to have hope.
But where do I go from here?
-Katie Starlet
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The One with Nothing
Dear Readers,
I'm beginning to think nobody reads this. That's okay. I only talk about myself and my sadness. Well, I won't disappoint today. I applied for a million jobs to no avail, I cleaned a house, I sat in a mall for a few hours and watched people, walked past a billion jewelry stores which made me infinitely more depressed, I finished my project, I ate food occasionally, and I watched some depressing t.v. I even went in GAP today and didn't try on a thing and just left. What is up? I'll tell you what is up...I'm lonely, losing hope, and sad all the time!
What do you do when you can't read minds or tell the future?
-Katie Starlet
I'm beginning to think nobody reads this. That's okay. I only talk about myself and my sadness. Well, I won't disappoint today. I applied for a million jobs to no avail, I cleaned a house, I sat in a mall for a few hours and watched people, walked past a billion jewelry stores which made me infinitely more depressed, I finished my project, I ate food occasionally, and I watched some depressing t.v. I even went in GAP today and didn't try on a thing and just left. What is up? I'll tell you what is up...I'm lonely, losing hope, and sad all the time!
What do you do when you can't read minds or tell the future?
-Katie Starlet
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The One with New Goals
Dear Readers,
Today was a tough day for me. I hope it was not nearly as hard for you. I woke up and just felt discouraged. I felt like good things were not going to happen in the future. But as always, after reflection and talking, my mood has improved. I have decided to change some habits of mine to make me physically and mentally healthier.
Also, I met one of my goals on my Bucket List. Believe it or not I have never ran a full block in a neighborhood...until today! I think it was a mixture of anger and heartbreak but I did it. Then I proceeded to walk by myself for forty minutes and I cheered up immensely! I listened to Five for Fighting, Brad Paisley, Joe Nichols, Josh Kelley, Gavin DeGraw, Jason Mraz, and more. I was able to relax, exercise, reflect, and dance a little in the street and I feel refreshed.
I spent the evening talking to my parents and working on some projects I have going on. I have a lot planned for tomorrow. I will primarily be by myself which could make me sad but I am going to choose to stay positive about this situation. My cousin reminded me today that God has a plan for me. I told her that God may have simply forgotten to give me a plan. But she said he doesn't forget and my Mom told me that He will unfold it for me in his own time. I feel like I hear that a lot lately. Well...here's to time and good things coming from it.
Do good things come to those who wait?
-Katie Starlet
Today was a tough day for me. I hope it was not nearly as hard for you. I woke up and just felt discouraged. I felt like good things were not going to happen in the future. But as always, after reflection and talking, my mood has improved. I have decided to change some habits of mine to make me physically and mentally healthier.
Also, I met one of my goals on my Bucket List. Believe it or not I have never ran a full block in a neighborhood...until today! I think it was a mixture of anger and heartbreak but I did it. Then I proceeded to walk by myself for forty minutes and I cheered up immensely! I listened to Five for Fighting, Brad Paisley, Joe Nichols, Josh Kelley, Gavin DeGraw, Jason Mraz, and more. I was able to relax, exercise, reflect, and dance a little in the street and I feel refreshed.
I spent the evening talking to my parents and working on some projects I have going on. I have a lot planned for tomorrow. I will primarily be by myself which could make me sad but I am going to choose to stay positive about this situation. My cousin reminded me today that God has a plan for me. I told her that God may have simply forgotten to give me a plan. But she said he doesn't forget and my Mom told me that He will unfold it for me in his own time. I feel like I hear that a lot lately. Well...here's to time and good things coming from it.
Do good things come to those who wait?
-Katie Starlet
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The One with a Little Bit of Progress
Dear Readers,
Today, we made progress. First, I went on the hunt for jobs. I applied three places, (that was an adventure in itself) and I have even more places to apply at tomorrow. I got to run some errands and went to a meeting for my internship. And I got to watch GLEE! And last night, I caught up on many missed weeks of Grey's and Private Practice. AMAZING!
But the best part of my entire day was the call I got from my friend...sigh. I can't believe he called me. I would like to apologize to the three or so people who continually read this blog. I realize that I am mushy and sappy all over the place but I am doing it for a very important reason. I am in love but in order to get him back I must prove my love. So that is what I am trying to do.
I also must say this. Tonight, I am typing this post in my room at my desk with minimal lighting and I have FRIENDS playing softly in the background. I feel so Carrie Bradshaw. By they way, can we talk about all the movies I have to see this summer that I will be going to ALONE!? They are as follows: Iron Man 2, Sex and the City 2, Letters to Juliet, Eclipse, The Killers, The Back-Up Plan, Date Night, and more. Seriously...sad. But I will find a way to afford them and I will bring pepper spray. Well, I will let you all know how my week continues and soon I will update you on the birthday surprise I have been working on.
How far would you go for love? And what if they said...no?
-Katie Starlet
Today, we made progress. First, I went on the hunt for jobs. I applied three places, (that was an adventure in itself) and I have even more places to apply at tomorrow. I got to run some errands and went to a meeting for my internship. And I got to watch GLEE! And last night, I caught up on many missed weeks of Grey's and Private Practice. AMAZING!
But the best part of my entire day was the call I got from my friend...sigh. I can't believe he called me. I would like to apologize to the three or so people who continually read this blog. I realize that I am mushy and sappy all over the place but I am doing it for a very important reason. I am in love but in order to get him back I must prove my love. So that is what I am trying to do.
I also must say this. Tonight, I am typing this post in my room at my desk with minimal lighting and I have FRIENDS playing softly in the background. I feel so Carrie Bradshaw. By they way, can we talk about all the movies I have to see this summer that I will be going to ALONE!? They are as follows: Iron Man 2, Sex and the City 2, Letters to Juliet, Eclipse, The Killers, The Back-Up Plan, Date Night, and more. Seriously...sad. But I will find a way to afford them and I will bring pepper spray. Well, I will let you all know how my week continues and soon I will update you on the birthday surprise I have been working on.
How far would you go for love? And what if they said...no?
-Katie Starlet
Monday, May 10, 2010
The One with Productivity
Dear Readers,
Today I spent a lot of time with my cousin again. She must be one of the most patient people in the world because I could talk for hours about my life! She listened and provided some excellent advice. I feel like I am working so hard and I hope it is not in vain. I am so in love but sometimes love takes time and pain and even punishment. But it is so nice to have someone to talk to about it.
To thank her I helped clean the whole house and pack and I even changed a dirty diaper! It was a lot of fun. I continued to drive around and find my way around this new city. I am prepared for a very busy day tomorrow. I regret that I don't have much else to say.
Do you think kind gestures make a difference? Can the good times between people far outweigh the bad?
-Katie Starlet
Today I spent a lot of time with my cousin again. She must be one of the most patient people in the world because I could talk for hours about my life! She listened and provided some excellent advice. I feel like I am working so hard and I hope it is not in vain. I am so in love but sometimes love takes time and pain and even punishment. But it is so nice to have someone to talk to about it.
To thank her I helped clean the whole house and pack and I even changed a dirty diaper! It was a lot of fun. I continued to drive around and find my way around this new city. I am prepared for a very busy day tomorrow. I regret that I don't have much else to say.
Do you think kind gestures make a difference? Can the good times between people far outweigh the bad?
-Katie Starlet
Sunday, May 9, 2010
The One with the Tea Party
Dear Readers,
I have started an internship and I am pretty sure I love it! More about that at a future date. So I'm terribly sorry I did not write yesterday. I am still without Internet access and I am having to have people transcribe what I say to them.
Today, I got to spend most of the day with my baby cousins. One of them is two and the other is four weeks old! I am so in love with them and they are not even my children. I would literally do anything for them! The 2-year old wanted to bake me cookies and then pulled out her play set which includes slice and bake cookies (that are held together with velcro) and oven mitts, an apron, and a chef's hat. Adorable, I know! She proceeds to feed me and then thinks up the idea to have a tea party. You can imagine my delight when she said this because when I was little I had a little pink tea set and I made everyone who came in the door have a tea party with me. I wasn't bossy, I just wanted to talk to everyone I could. I have always had a lot to say!
So four of us sat down to tea and it was a memory I know I will never forget. My older cousin, (their mother) is one of the best people I have ever known. She also happens to be one of my very best friends. She made us tea and strawberry shortcake with fresh strawberries and blueberries on top! It was exceptional!
While we were eating, I held the baby in my arms. I also got to hold her earlier for about an hour and rocked her in a chair. I even dozed a little myself! What a wonderful way to spend a Sunday! I already knew I wanted children but I am always amazed at how they continually make me grin from ear to ear. I love my babies more than life itself and I haven't even had them yet! I also have to thank my baby cousins for the happiness the provided in my life today in what would have otherwise been a very lonely and sad day.
What a gift from God. Not only that, but the mothers who raise them. I only hope that I can be a wonderful influence on my children someday. And while I am at it I may as well tell you that I love my mother. I respect her more than almost anyone. The things I get from her are my humor, my height, my people skills, my love for chocolate, and my perserverance. What wonderful gifts.
What women have made a difference in your life? And what is the impact you want to have on your children?
-Katie Starlet
I have started an internship and I am pretty sure I love it! More about that at a future date. So I'm terribly sorry I did not write yesterday. I am still without Internet access and I am having to have people transcribe what I say to them.
Today, I got to spend most of the day with my baby cousins. One of them is two and the other is four weeks old! I am so in love with them and they are not even my children. I would literally do anything for them! The 2-year old wanted to bake me cookies and then pulled out her play set which includes slice and bake cookies (that are held together with velcro) and oven mitts, an apron, and a chef's hat. Adorable, I know! She proceeds to feed me and then thinks up the idea to have a tea party. You can imagine my delight when she said this because when I was little I had a little pink tea set and I made everyone who came in the door have a tea party with me. I wasn't bossy, I just wanted to talk to everyone I could. I have always had a lot to say!
So four of us sat down to tea and it was a memory I know I will never forget. My older cousin, (their mother) is one of the best people I have ever known. She also happens to be one of my very best friends. She made us tea and strawberry shortcake with fresh strawberries and blueberries on top! It was exceptional!
While we were eating, I held the baby in my arms. I also got to hold her earlier for about an hour and rocked her in a chair. I even dozed a little myself! What a wonderful way to spend a Sunday! I already knew I wanted children but I am always amazed at how they continually make me grin from ear to ear. I love my babies more than life itself and I haven't even had them yet! I also have to thank my baby cousins for the happiness the provided in my life today in what would have otherwise been a very lonely and sad day.
What a gift from God. Not only that, but the mothers who raise them. I only hope that I can be a wonderful influence on my children someday. And while I am at it I may as well tell you that I love my mother. I respect her more than almost anyone. The things I get from her are my humor, my height, my people skills, my love for chocolate, and my perserverance. What wonderful gifts.
What women have made a difference in your life? And what is the impact you want to have on your children?
-Katie Starlet
Friday, May 7, 2010
The One that He Can't Fathom
Dear Readers,
I don't have internet access, I'll try to write soon.
What do we do when words don't mean anything?
-Katie Starlet
I don't have internet access, I'll try to write soon.
What do we do when words don't mean anything?
-Katie Starlet
Thursday, May 6, 2010
The One where Life Changes
Dear Readers,
Sometimes things happen in life that cause you to stop and think. My world has changed. I am in love with someone that I can't have . . . yet. I have made mistakes and I have to face the consequences but this reality check has allowed me to see what is truly important to me in life. I can't take back what I have done but I can move forward. I will do everything in my power to get him back.
How long are you willing to wait for love?
-Katie Starlet
Sometimes things happen in life that cause you to stop and think. My world has changed. I am in love with someone that I can't have . . . yet. I have made mistakes and I have to face the consequences but this reality check has allowed me to see what is truly important to me in life. I can't take back what I have done but I can move forward. I will do everything in my power to get him back.
How long are you willing to wait for love?
-Katie Starlet
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The One with the Blessing of Friendship
Dear Readers,
Today was so pleasant. I think that is the perfect word for it. I have been going through a lot lately as you well know but it is so nice to be surrounded by people I love. My day started in the wee hours of the morning while visiting my brother. I got to talk to him for hours and just laugh. I stayed up all night until I finally passed out for three hours.
Then I got to eat lunch with one of my girlfriends. We had such a good time. We stayed at the restaurant for two hours and I wonder why I didn't visit with her regularly all semester. Immediately following that rendezvous I met up with another girlfriend and I got to see her new house. I was very impressed with all the work she has put into painting the house and gardening. I can't wait until I get the opportunity to fix up a home.
Believe it or not that was not even half of my day. I went to my friend's house to deliver a card and got to visit with him for a while and watch some soccer. The last stop of my day was to deliver a wedding present to a friend because unfortunately I have to miss her wedding.
After all of my journeys today I am reminded what a blessing it is to have friends. I have found friends in the most interesting ways. I have found the friends I have needed most in the most unexpected situations. What is even better is that I have an over-abundance of friends. I am not bragging about this and I am certainly not complaining; I am just grateful to have people I can go to about any situation. Today I feel loved and supported. I only hope that I am as good to them as they are to me.
What do you think? What makes a friend?
-Katie Starlet
Today was so pleasant. I think that is the perfect word for it. I have been going through a lot lately as you well know but it is so nice to be surrounded by people I love. My day started in the wee hours of the morning while visiting my brother. I got to talk to him for hours and just laugh. I stayed up all night until I finally passed out for three hours.
Then I got to eat lunch with one of my girlfriends. We had such a good time. We stayed at the restaurant for two hours and I wonder why I didn't visit with her regularly all semester. Immediately following that rendezvous I met up with another girlfriend and I got to see her new house. I was very impressed with all the work she has put into painting the house and gardening. I can't wait until I get the opportunity to fix up a home.
Believe it or not that was not even half of my day. I went to my friend's house to deliver a card and got to visit with him for a while and watch some soccer. The last stop of my day was to deliver a wedding present to a friend because unfortunately I have to miss her wedding.
After all of my journeys today I am reminded what a blessing it is to have friends. I have found friends in the most interesting ways. I have found the friends I have needed most in the most unexpected situations. What is even better is that I have an over-abundance of friends. I am not bragging about this and I am certainly not complaining; I am just grateful to have people I can go to about any situation. Today I feel loved and supported. I only hope that I am as good to them as they are to me.
What do you think? What makes a friend?
-Katie Starlet
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The One with the Lethal Distractions
Dear Readers,
There were good parts and there were bad parts of my day yesterday. But today, I begin again. I am going to go visit my brother at his school. I will get a nice drive out of it, some nice company when I get there, and hopefully some distractions. I have been working hard to prepare myself for this summer. I can't prepare myself emotionally but I am physically putting everything in their respective boxes. It is hard doing this alone! But if anyone can its me.
I should explain my title for today. I have now watched all of the Lethal Weapon movies and I LOVE them! They are hilarious and action-packed and the comedic timing is perfect! They have been the perfect thing to watch because there is no sappiness or sad music; just gunfire and explosions!
What I have learned about myself today is that sometimes I need to back off. It is SO hard for me to sit back and do nothing. I am a passionate person and impatient and those things do not get along well together. But I am learning that I will have to wait for some things in life. And the thing I want most in the world is going to take time to get back. I have started to pray again regularly and that is already making a different in my life.
What do you think? Are the best things in life worth waiting for?
-Katie Starlet
There were good parts and there were bad parts of my day yesterday. But today, I begin again. I am going to go visit my brother at his school. I will get a nice drive out of it, some nice company when I get there, and hopefully some distractions. I have been working hard to prepare myself for this summer. I can't prepare myself emotionally but I am physically putting everything in their respective boxes. It is hard doing this alone! But if anyone can its me.
I should explain my title for today. I have now watched all of the Lethal Weapon movies and I LOVE them! They are hilarious and action-packed and the comedic timing is perfect! They have been the perfect thing to watch because there is no sappiness or sad music; just gunfire and explosions!
What I have learned about myself today is that sometimes I need to back off. It is SO hard for me to sit back and do nothing. I am a passionate person and impatient and those things do not get along well together. But I am learning that I will have to wait for some things in life. And the thing I want most in the world is going to take time to get back. I have started to pray again regularly and that is already making a different in my life.
What do you think? Are the best things in life worth waiting for?
-Katie Starlet
Monday, May 3, 2010
The One with Accomplistments
Dear Readers,
Today I fixed my printer. Now, this may sound like a very small accomplishment to you but it is not to me. My printer has been out of order for at least six months so to get it running again is a miracle. I was just fiddling with it and suddenly discovered the problem. And I did it all by myself!
I also went shoe shopping with my mom which always makes me happy. I feel bad having to sugar coat my life to my family sometimes though. They ask me if I'm doing okay and certain questions about some of the people in my life and lately, I have had to fib a little. But only a little. I don't want them to worry anymore than they already do.
I learned more about myself today. I learned that sometimes I rely too much on other people. Like if I want a soft drink or a magazine I would ask someone to go get it for me. This is also how I would get my printer fixed. There is nothing wrong with asking for help but today I learned that sometimes I can go without those things or I can fix them myself.
I have to stay positive because if I don't, I don't know what will happen. The weirdest part is that I haven't cried, really cried, in months. Have my tear ducts swollen shut? Where have all the tears gone?
-Katie Starlet
Today I fixed my printer. Now, this may sound like a very small accomplishment to you but it is not to me. My printer has been out of order for at least six months so to get it running again is a miracle. I was just fiddling with it and suddenly discovered the problem. And I did it all by myself!
I also went shoe shopping with my mom which always makes me happy. I feel bad having to sugar coat my life to my family sometimes though. They ask me if I'm doing okay and certain questions about some of the people in my life and lately, I have had to fib a little. But only a little. I don't want them to worry anymore than they already do.
I learned more about myself today. I learned that sometimes I rely too much on other people. Like if I want a soft drink or a magazine I would ask someone to go get it for me. This is also how I would get my printer fixed. There is nothing wrong with asking for help but today I learned that sometimes I can go without those things or I can fix them myself.
I have to stay positive because if I don't, I don't know what will happen. The weirdest part is that I haven't cried, really cried, in months. Have my tear ducts swollen shut? Where have all the tears gone?
-Katie Starlet
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The One with Where God Opens a Window
Dear Readers,
Yesterday I felt like I was sinking and today God threw me a life raft. I hope I don't get too sappy on you but that is the way I am feeling. Also, I should warn you that for a while this blog will be a journal of my self-discovery. This probably won't affect too many people because I don't even know if anyone really reads this.
Today I started over. I am attempting to better myself both for my own self confidence and for the person I have lost. I am going to record all of the things I improve upon and also all of the things I realize I can do by myself. I don't mean this to be a way of saying "I don't need anyone" I just want to prove to myself that I can be independent again and believe in my own abilities.
Today I went to my friend's open house alone. I drove an hour away by myself without getting lost. I then went by myself again to my grandma's 80th birthday party. I actually had a wonderful time both places. I am so blessed that I still have grandparents left and in such good health. I have a feeling I will be writing about them on Thursday. I got to see family that I had not seen in a long time today. There was exceptional food and lots of laughter.
Its interesting to me how I can feel so much love for my family. That may sound weird but now I am specifically focusing on my parents. A few years ago I would not have sounded so cheery when referring to them but now when we speak to each other it is almost as if I am an equal. We can have intelligent conversations and talk about "big people" issues.
And a miracle happened. I have an issue I have been dealing with since last year. I can't divulge all the information but rest assured I am not crazy or anything or in danger of going to prison. But I have really been struggling for a while. Although one part of my life...the best part of my life...ended yesterday, "God still sees [me] out of the corner of his eye," to quote one of my favorite movies, The Count of Monte Cristo.
Another quote I love actually comes from the movie, Serendipity, and Jeremy Piven says, "When God closes one door, he opens a window." That happened to me today. My parents are the answer to one of my prayers today. And the business I had and all the driving I had to do distracted me from thinking about what I've lost. I have been struggling so much with God lately. It is not at all that I don't believe it is just that I have not felt moved to pray lately. What is so amazing about God though is that even when I have forgotten Him, he never forgets me.
I don't know my future and I don't know how I will feel tomorrow. But I do know that right now I am watching an intensely scary movie all by myself. These are things I normally would not do alone; but because of today, I don't feel so alone.
What have you done recently that was out of your comfort zone and made you feel independent?
-Katie Starlet
Yesterday I felt like I was sinking and today God threw me a life raft. I hope I don't get too sappy on you but that is the way I am feeling. Also, I should warn you that for a while this blog will be a journal of my self-discovery. This probably won't affect too many people because I don't even know if anyone really reads this.
Today I started over. I am attempting to better myself both for my own self confidence and for the person I have lost. I am going to record all of the things I improve upon and also all of the things I realize I can do by myself. I don't mean this to be a way of saying "I don't need anyone" I just want to prove to myself that I can be independent again and believe in my own abilities.
Today I went to my friend's open house alone. I drove an hour away by myself without getting lost. I then went by myself again to my grandma's 80th birthday party. I actually had a wonderful time both places. I am so blessed that I still have grandparents left and in such good health. I have a feeling I will be writing about them on Thursday. I got to see family that I had not seen in a long time today. There was exceptional food and lots of laughter.
Its interesting to me how I can feel so much love for my family. That may sound weird but now I am specifically focusing on my parents. A few years ago I would not have sounded so cheery when referring to them but now when we speak to each other it is almost as if I am an equal. We can have intelligent conversations and talk about "big people" issues.
And a miracle happened. I have an issue I have been dealing with since last year. I can't divulge all the information but rest assured I am not crazy or anything or in danger of going to prison. But I have really been struggling for a while. Although one part of my life...the best part of my life...ended yesterday, "God still sees [me] out of the corner of his eye," to quote one of my favorite movies, The Count of Monte Cristo.
Another quote I love actually comes from the movie, Serendipity, and Jeremy Piven says, "When God closes one door, he opens a window." That happened to me today. My parents are the answer to one of my prayers today. And the business I had and all the driving I had to do distracted me from thinking about what I've lost. I have been struggling so much with God lately. It is not at all that I don't believe it is just that I have not felt moved to pray lately. What is so amazing about God though is that even when I have forgotten Him, he never forgets me.
I don't know my future and I don't know how I will feel tomorrow. But I do know that right now I am watching an intensely scary movie all by myself. These are things I normally would not do alone; but because of today, I don't feel so alone.
What have you done recently that was out of your comfort zone and made you feel independent?
-Katie Starlet
Saturday, May 1, 2010
The One Where I Give Up
Dear Readers,
Yesterday when I woke up I had no idea it would be the worst day of my life. But it was. This may sound stupid and dramatic but to me it was the worst day, moment, hour, minute of my life so far. I have no details. I have no stories. I have no explanations. But I quit. I'm done. I give up.
How much can the human heart take before it breaks?
-Katie Starlet
Yesterday when I woke up I had no idea it would be the worst day of my life. But it was. This may sound stupid and dramatic but to me it was the worst day, moment, hour, minute of my life so far. I have no details. I have no stories. I have no explanations. But I quit. I'm done. I give up.
How much can the human heart take before it breaks?
-Katie Starlet
Friday, April 30, 2010
The One with the Interference
Dear Readers,
"Mama said there'll be days like this..."
I am angry. I wanted to call this "The One with the Rage" but I will save that title for another day. I feel there are more of these days to come.
Last night I got yelled at by a lot of people. I can't share all the gory details with you because that is not really my information to tell. Have you ever been in a situation where your friends are trying to do right by you but they just end up upsetting you? I have. It is not just friends, some people get involved in my business who have nothing to do with the situation. I am just tired of it.
Half of my problems are created because I care way too much about what people will think. Why should I care? I don't know but I do. I think that can be a good quality though. I take other people's feelings into account. And those who know me think I talk about absolutely everything I am feeling but I don't always share all of the information. Well, I can't keep going. Otherwise, I will just be ranting for hours and no one wants to read that.
But I am just wondering...where is the line between helping a friend and hurting them?
-Katie Starlet
"Mama said there'll be days like this..."
I am angry. I wanted to call this "The One with the Rage" but I will save that title for another day. I feel there are more of these days to come.
Last night I got yelled at by a lot of people. I can't share all the gory details with you because that is not really my information to tell. Have you ever been in a situation where your friends are trying to do right by you but they just end up upsetting you? I have. It is not just friends, some people get involved in my business who have nothing to do with the situation. I am just tired of it.
Half of my problems are created because I care way too much about what people will think. Why should I care? I don't know but I do. I think that can be a good quality though. I take other people's feelings into account. And those who know me think I talk about absolutely everything I am feeling but I don't always share all of the information. Well, I can't keep going. Otherwise, I will just be ranting for hours and no one wants to read that.
But I am just wondering...where is the line between helping a friend and hurting them?
-Katie Starlet
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The One with Disappointment
Dear Readers,
I don't want to broadcast too much to the world because a few people actually read this. Anyway I am so disappointed in myself today. Do you ever have days like that? I did terribly on a final and I have to retake a class. I would say "I don't want to talk about it," but clearly I am talking about it here.
What disappoints me the most is the fact that there were some classes I missed because I simply slept through my alarm. I just feel dumb when stuff like that happens. I mean that was something I could easily have avoided. Arrggghh!
And I am not stupid which is what upsets me the most. I am intelligent and I actually like school. I love learning, I love discussions in classes, and especially new school supplies. Professors don't typically scare me and I get along with my peers. I think all of these qualities are beneficial but unfortunately they don't grade you based on personality.
So today, I am sorry to report I have no good advice and I don't really have much pep to my step. I am sure my day will improve though. I get to spend time with friends tonight. There is always next year to improve right?
-Katie Starlet
I don't want to broadcast too much to the world because a few people actually read this. Anyway I am so disappointed in myself today. Do you ever have days like that? I did terribly on a final and I have to retake a class. I would say "I don't want to talk about it," but clearly I am talking about it here.
What disappoints me the most is the fact that there were some classes I missed because I simply slept through my alarm. I just feel dumb when stuff like that happens. I mean that was something I could easily have avoided. Arrggghh!
And I am not stupid which is what upsets me the most. I am intelligent and I actually like school. I love learning, I love discussions in classes, and especially new school supplies. Professors don't typically scare me and I get along with my peers. I think all of these qualities are beneficial but unfortunately they don't grade you based on personality.
So today, I am sorry to report I have no good advice and I don't really have much pep to my step. I am sure my day will improve though. I get to spend time with friends tonight. There is always next year to improve right?
-Katie Starlet
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The One with all the Wishes
Dear Readers,
Hello. It is a beautiful day outside and I am feeling very optimistic about my life. I love days like these.
I had lunch with my Dad today. We have a nice relationship. I don't know how it came up but it got me thinking about wishes. My parents have been married for almost 25 years and I am so fortunate that I have had them all of my life. I have never had to question what is most important to them in my life; I already know it is my brother and I.
I started thinking about wishes. I have a pile of wishes. Typically I wish for the same types of things and usually they are somewhat attainable. I feel they are realistic goals but I will need a little bit of luck to reach them. Anyway I started thinking about the wishes other people have. I feel it would be a very intimate thing to hear everyone else's wishes.
I imagine some people, like my parents, would wish for my brother and I to have extremely happy and fulfilling lives. That is selfless and thoughtful, just like my parents are. I think some people probably dream of owning a home, or traveling, or even just for a meal. Just an interesting thought I had. And if I can, I hope to help make other people's wishes come true.
So tell me, what are the things you wish for most in life?
-Katie Starlet
Hello. It is a beautiful day outside and I am feeling very optimistic about my life. I love days like these.
I had lunch with my Dad today. We have a nice relationship. I don't know how it came up but it got me thinking about wishes. My parents have been married for almost 25 years and I am so fortunate that I have had them all of my life. I have never had to question what is most important to them in my life; I already know it is my brother and I.
I started thinking about wishes. I have a pile of wishes. Typically I wish for the same types of things and usually they are somewhat attainable. I feel they are realistic goals but I will need a little bit of luck to reach them. Anyway I started thinking about the wishes other people have. I feel it would be a very intimate thing to hear everyone else's wishes.
I imagine some people, like my parents, would wish for my brother and I to have extremely happy and fulfilling lives. That is selfless and thoughtful, just like my parents are. I think some people probably dream of owning a home, or traveling, or even just for a meal. Just an interesting thought I had. And if I can, I hope to help make other people's wishes come true.
So tell me, what are the things you wish for most in life?
-Katie Starlet
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The One with the Papers
Dear Readers,
I feel slightly better after a night of fitful sleep. I have spent most of the day and night working on my papers which are due very soon. I did not want to forget to write to you today. I do not enjoy writing papers which is amusing because I have to constantly write for my major.
However, I find that the more papers I write the better I get. This may seem like an obvious statement but I think it speaks to an even bigger theme, whatever we do in life, the more experience we have, the better we will be. I do care about the grades I get on these papers but I care more that they are exemplary of my skills as a writer. I will let you know how it goes.
Ponder this, what have you gained experience in and how does that make you special?
-Katie Starlet
I feel slightly better after a night of fitful sleep. I have spent most of the day and night working on my papers which are due very soon. I did not want to forget to write to you today. I do not enjoy writing papers which is amusing because I have to constantly write for my major.
However, I find that the more papers I write the better I get. This may seem like an obvious statement but I think it speaks to an even bigger theme, whatever we do in life, the more experience we have, the better we will be. I do care about the grades I get on these papers but I care more that they are exemplary of my skills as a writer. I will let you know how it goes.
Ponder this, what have you gained experience in and how does that make you special?
-Katie Starlet
Monday, April 26, 2010
The One with Big Decisions
Dear Readers,
Decisions. They are a crucial part of everyone's life. Based on certain decisions we make, we either end up married or raising children or in college, we can be sober, abstinent, rich or poor, sad or lonely, happy, and decided whether we live a fulfilling life or not. Some decisions are small, like what kind of ice cream should I eat, chocolate or vanilla? Others are much bigger, Should I raise this baby or put it up for adoption?
I have some big decisions coming up. And I don't know what to do. I know this is not something that any of you can answer and honestly, I am not at liberty to post the particular situations I am debating. I just know that sometimes, no matter what people choose, someone gets hurt. I also know that our decisions affect other people even if we don't plan it that way.
And during all of this decision-making, I still have finals. I am currently preparing for an all-nighter. Today, my question to myself is, how do I get in these messes? And how can I ever get out?
-Katie Starlet
Decisions. They are a crucial part of everyone's life. Based on certain decisions we make, we either end up married or raising children or in college, we can be sober, abstinent, rich or poor, sad or lonely, happy, and decided whether we live a fulfilling life or not. Some decisions are small, like what kind of ice cream should I eat, chocolate or vanilla? Others are much bigger, Should I raise this baby or put it up for adoption?
I have some big decisions coming up. And I don't know what to do. I know this is not something that any of you can answer and honestly, I am not at liberty to post the particular situations I am debating. I just know that sometimes, no matter what people choose, someone gets hurt. I also know that our decisions affect other people even if we don't plan it that way.
And during all of this decision-making, I still have finals. I am currently preparing for an all-nighter. Today, my question to myself is, how do I get in these messes? And how can I ever get out?
-Katie Starlet
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The One with the Best Parents
Dear Readers,
Hello. So last night my Dad dropped off my "finals package" from them [my Mom and Dad]. I should give you a disclaimer, I am a crier and I am very sentimental but this was a whole other level.
They gave me an adorable striped shirt that is nautical (my favorite style). Then, they gave me some of my favorite snack foods. I also got two things for my favorite (stuffed) puppy. He is now wearing flip flops, khakis, an argyle sweater, and glasses. He looks intellectual and ready for finals week. They got me a movie and some bubbles for a study break. And my favorite item was a book about Shakespeare. Not to mention, a wonderful card. Now if I am not the most fortunate daughter in the world I don't know who is.
I am sure to finish strong this week with support like that. But it makes me wonder, one day, will I be able to reflect the wonderful qualities my parents have demonstrated for me?
-Katie Starlet
Hello. So last night my Dad dropped off my "finals package" from them [my Mom and Dad]. I should give you a disclaimer, I am a crier and I am very sentimental but this was a whole other level.
They gave me an adorable striped shirt that is nautical (my favorite style). Then, they gave me some of my favorite snack foods. I also got two things for my favorite (stuffed) puppy. He is now wearing flip flops, khakis, an argyle sweater, and glasses. He looks intellectual and ready for finals week. They got me a movie and some bubbles for a study break. And my favorite item was a book about Shakespeare. Not to mention, a wonderful card. Now if I am not the most fortunate daughter in the world I don't know who is.
I am sure to finish strong this week with support like that. But it makes me wonder, one day, will I be able to reflect the wonderful qualities my parents have demonstrated for me?
-Katie Starlet
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The One Where We're Growing Up
Dear Readers,
Sorry about last night. I passed out! I had not slept in 48 hours! Also, since I tend to get distracted I don't really know the thought process I was going through last night and so I don't really know what else to say about yesterday. I will just continue with today's happenings.
Today, I helped my friends move into their very first home. It was just as exciting for me as it was for them. I appreciated the experience because someday a LONG time from now, I will move into my own home and I will need to know what to do. As the day progressed, many people, that I grew up, with came too and it was just so pleasant. We were able to sit and chat and the conversations were so different than what we used to talk about. We have progressed from driver's licenses and youth group to weddings, children, and careers. However, I did have everyone laughing at me. I was complaining about getting older but they are all slightly older than I am.
I loved the support everyone had for each other. I mean ten people showed up to help two people move in and start a new home together. It was so sweet. It just made me realize that I have so many friends who I truly believe would help me through those fun and exciting times in life.It is nice to know that I will have people who will love me and support me in my life. It gives me hope and a smile and I'm thankful.
And I wonder, am I a friend like that to others? Will I be there for the happy times in their life?
-Katie Starlet
Sorry about last night. I passed out! I had not slept in 48 hours! Also, since I tend to get distracted I don't really know the thought process I was going through last night and so I don't really know what else to say about yesterday. I will just continue with today's happenings.
Today, I helped my friends move into their very first home. It was just as exciting for me as it was for them. I appreciated the experience because someday a LONG time from now, I will move into my own home and I will need to know what to do. As the day progressed, many people, that I grew up, with came too and it was just so pleasant. We were able to sit and chat and the conversations were so different than what we used to talk about. We have progressed from driver's licenses and youth group to weddings, children, and careers. However, I did have everyone laughing at me. I was complaining about getting older but they are all slightly older than I am.
I loved the support everyone had for each other. I mean ten people showed up to help two people move in and start a new home together. It was so sweet. It just made me realize that I have so many friends who I truly believe would help me through those fun and exciting times in life.It is nice to know that I will have people who will love me and support me in my life. It gives me hope and a smile and I'm thankful.
And I wonder, am I a friend like that to others? Will I be there for the happy times in their life?
-Katie Starlet
Friday, April 23, 2010
The One with all the Appreciation
Dear Readers,
Just to clarify, (in case this doesn't post in time) this blog entry is for Friday.
Today I am blessed beyond belief. I have the most wonderful group of friends in the entire world. I would like to stress the word ENTIRE! I have been going through a really rough patch lately and I know that has shown in my writing and my attitude. Anyway, now that actual classes are over, all that is left are the finals. So stress is high right now but there is a lot more time to organize your thoughts and to catch up on some sleep.
Tonight I went to dinner with my co-workers. We had a fantastic dinner with several courses and lots of laughter. We got to reminisce on the past year and the unique experiences we have had. Although on the way back home . . . (Unfortunately this post will have to be continued tomorrow due to a case of the . . . zzzzzzzzz!)
Just to clarify, (in case this doesn't post in time) this blog entry is for Friday.
Today I am blessed beyond belief. I have the most wonderful group of friends in the entire world. I would like to stress the word ENTIRE! I have been going through a really rough patch lately and I know that has shown in my writing and my attitude. Anyway, now that actual classes are over, all that is left are the finals. So stress is high right now but there is a lot more time to organize your thoughts and to catch up on some sleep.
Tonight I went to dinner with my co-workers. We had a fantastic dinner with several courses and lots of laughter. We got to reminisce on the past year and the unique experiences we have had. Although on the way back home . . . (Unfortunately this post will have to be continued tomorrow due to a case of the . . . zzzzzzzzz!)
Thursday, April 22, 2010
The One with the Laughter
Dear Readers,
Today I made my professor laugh. I don't even remember exactly what I said but it was a great feeling. I think the most attractive accessory to any outfit is a smile. I doubt I am the first to say that but I thought I would insert that in my commentary.Making people laugh is my favorite thing in the whole world. If I can spend the rest of my life making people laugh, I will die happy.
I don't have a whole lot to say but I am happy to report that I am having a wonderful day. The sun is out again, I am almost done for the semester, and I am being very productive so all in all it has been a great day. I am planning on having a fantastic weekend so I'll keep you updated!
-Katie Starlet
Today I made my professor laugh. I don't even remember exactly what I said but it was a great feeling. I think the most attractive accessory to any outfit is a smile. I doubt I am the first to say that but I thought I would insert that in my commentary.Making people laugh is my favorite thing in the whole world. If I can spend the rest of my life making people laugh, I will die happy.
I don't have a whole lot to say but I am happy to report that I am having a wonderful day. The sun is out again, I am almost done for the semester, and I am being very productive so all in all it has been a great day. I am planning on having a fantastic weekend so I'll keep you updated!
-Katie Starlet
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The One with Importance
Dear Readers,
I will keep this short and sweet. Today in one of my English classes we talked about the importance of language. One of the books we are reading is actually a collection of essays. While discussing this particular essay today, we came to the conclusion that language is a necessary part of our nation. This may sound obvious but it sounded so profound to me. Our professor said, "Our world is accessible to us because of language." I loved that. And it helps me think of a response to all the haters.
So many people ask me how English is important to my life and what I am going to do with it. You know what I say?..."Um, excuse me. What language do we speak in this country?" I mean in a world where English is such a crucial language, how could I NOT find work?
Maybe I am just an eternal optimist. But here is what I think. Why does our major in college have to mean something? Shouldn't we just be more focused on going out and making a difference in the world?
-Katie Starlet
I will keep this short and sweet. Today in one of my English classes we talked about the importance of language. One of the books we are reading is actually a collection of essays. While discussing this particular essay today, we came to the conclusion that language is a necessary part of our nation. This may sound obvious but it sounded so profound to me. Our professor said, "Our world is accessible to us because of language." I loved that. And it helps me think of a response to all the haters.
So many people ask me how English is important to my life and what I am going to do with it. You know what I say?..."Um, excuse me. What language do we speak in this country?" I mean in a world where English is such a crucial language, how could I NOT find work?
Maybe I am just an eternal optimist. But here is what I think. Why does our major in college have to mean something? Shouldn't we just be more focused on going out and making a difference in the world?
-Katie Starlet
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The One with the Sunshine
Dear Readers,
All six of you. Yay! Hello. Today was a much better day than yesterday and it is only five! I am in the process of fixing my insurance business for the wreck. My car is SOL but she's a soldier and will be fine for a few more years I would say.
I am almost done with classes and I am trying to be as productive as I can be every moment of the day so I can avoid a stress overload next week.
I had a picnic at lunch with some friends and read outside on a bench after class. It was lovely. I have realized that even though I have my bad days, the good ones often outweigh the bad. I have one friend who just found out she can't have children and another friend that is now unable to go to nursing school after two very hard years of work. I can't really complain. I am alive and well. I have friends and occasionally get some sleep. And today, I get to enjoy the sunshine.
I have noticed lately that when the sun is out in the morning I am much more likely to have a good day. I also know that when I dress up I feel better about myself. And exercise makes me feel like a beast (endorphins and all that you know.) So if these things are true and if everyone dressed up each day and found time to exercise and if we could control the weather, would our world be different?
-Katie Starlet
All six of you. Yay! Hello. Today was a much better day than yesterday and it is only five! I am in the process of fixing my insurance business for the wreck. My car is SOL but she's a soldier and will be fine for a few more years I would say.
I am almost done with classes and I am trying to be as productive as I can be every moment of the day so I can avoid a stress overload next week.
I had a picnic at lunch with some friends and read outside on a bench after class. It was lovely. I have realized that even though I have my bad days, the good ones often outweigh the bad. I have one friend who just found out she can't have children and another friend that is now unable to go to nursing school after two very hard years of work. I can't really complain. I am alive and well. I have friends and occasionally get some sleep. And today, I get to enjoy the sunshine.
I have noticed lately that when the sun is out in the morning I am much more likely to have a good day. I also know that when I dress up I feel better about myself. And exercise makes me feel like a beast (endorphins and all that you know.) So if these things are true and if everyone dressed up each day and found time to exercise and if we could control the weather, would our world be different?
-Katie Starlet
Monday, April 19, 2010
The One with all the Angst
Dear Readers,
I am watching Sex and the City again. What else? I am having the worst day today. I have decided that I am just going to be angry and overwhelmed until the end of the year. I don't like being that way or seen as a pessimist but that is just the way I feel today. Actually the word that immediately comes to mind is dejected. I feel dejected. Like a failure. First a car wreck, then I bomb my portfolio, and everything has just been downhill ever since.
I wish I could tell you all the terrible things that have happened but you would get bored and it would take up 14 pages! Today, I am freaking about my grades and school in general. I don't want to be a college dropout. And I know I should not whine so much. People are starving and dying all over the world but everything is just so hard. I know I sound so whiny and pathetic. I wish I had better news to report but sadly today, I don't.
On the bright side, despite feeling like a failure, I have actually been quite productive today. But I wonder...will I ever be able to stop and take a breather?
-Katie Starlet
I am watching Sex and the City again. What else? I am having the worst day today. I have decided that I am just going to be angry and overwhelmed until the end of the year. I don't like being that way or seen as a pessimist but that is just the way I feel today. Actually the word that immediately comes to mind is dejected. I feel dejected. Like a failure. First a car wreck, then I bomb my portfolio, and everything has just been downhill ever since.
I wish I could tell you all the terrible things that have happened but you would get bored and it would take up 14 pages! Today, I am freaking about my grades and school in general. I don't want to be a college dropout. And I know I should not whine so much. People are starving and dying all over the world but everything is just so hard. I know I sound so whiny and pathetic. I wish I had better news to report but sadly today, I don't.
On the bright side, despite feeling like a failure, I have actually been quite productive today. But I wonder...will I ever be able to stop and take a breather?
-Katie Starlet
Sunday, April 18, 2010
The One with all the Banquets
Dear Readers,
I now have four followers! Yay! Well today was a much better day than the last few days have been. I had several banquets to attend and I even won a few awards! Today felt rewarding both in my head and in my heart.
I spent the night with two of my very best friends after having a home-cooked meal that was TO DIE FOR! We fell asleep watching FRIENDS. I was able to talk about some personal problems that I have been struggling with lately and they put me at ease and as I drifted off to sleep I just felt that I was loved and supported by many people and I love that feeling!
Tonight, we also had a floor event that many people attended and I got to learn more about their lives. That is rewarding in itself but I also feel so fortunate that I have residents who participate. RA's are often laughed at or disrespected but I have not had to deal with that because I have been blessed with wonderful people on my floor.
I can't believe school is coming to a close so soon though. I have many friends that are graduating and everyone else just can't seem to get away fast enough. I have never understood that; I try to understand their mindset but I just can't. In a place where I am so independent and free how could I possibly want to leave? Not only that but eventually I will have to go out into "the real world."
You know what I have always found funny? My Dad always says, "Just wait until you get out in the real world." I am sure some people who are younger than me would immediately think he means the show on MTV but also I find it weird because I have to ask him, "Where have I been living until now? The fake world?" Maybe this is one of those situations where you have to be there but I find that a valid question. I know in reality he means that I will have to start paying all of my bills and move out on my own and cook and clean and work and find all of the motivation for that myself. Now that is a disconcerting thought!
These are the questions I will have to face soon enough. I'm not ready to yet. But really...are we ever ready to venture out into the "real world?"
-Katie Starlet
I now have four followers! Yay! Well today was a much better day than the last few days have been. I had several banquets to attend and I even won a few awards! Today felt rewarding both in my head and in my heart.
I spent the night with two of my very best friends after having a home-cooked meal that was TO DIE FOR! We fell asleep watching FRIENDS. I was able to talk about some personal problems that I have been struggling with lately and they put me at ease and as I drifted off to sleep I just felt that I was loved and supported by many people and I love that feeling!
Tonight, we also had a floor event that many people attended and I got to learn more about their lives. That is rewarding in itself but I also feel so fortunate that I have residents who participate. RA's are often laughed at or disrespected but I have not had to deal with that because I have been blessed with wonderful people on my floor.
I can't believe school is coming to a close so soon though. I have many friends that are graduating and everyone else just can't seem to get away fast enough. I have never understood that; I try to understand their mindset but I just can't. In a place where I am so independent and free how could I possibly want to leave? Not only that but eventually I will have to go out into "the real world."
You know what I have always found funny? My Dad always says, "Just wait until you get out in the real world." I am sure some people who are younger than me would immediately think he means the show on MTV but also I find it weird because I have to ask him, "Where have I been living until now? The fake world?" Maybe this is one of those situations where you have to be there but I find that a valid question. I know in reality he means that I will have to start paying all of my bills and move out on my own and cook and clean and work and find all of the motivation for that myself. Now that is a disconcerting thought!
These are the questions I will have to face soon enough. I'm not ready to yet. But really...are we ever ready to venture out into the "real world?"
-Katie Starlet
Saturday, April 17, 2010
The One with the Wreck
Dear Readers,
Got in my first car wreck today. I don't want to disclose much information about it except to say that I am okay and the thought of disappointing my family is consuming my every thought.
However, I did Race for the Cure this morning and I did feel quite a sense of accomplishment. I went with some of my good girlfriends and they really cheered me up.
I just want to go to sleep and wake up and have every problem in the world fixed, or at least my world. I know that makes me sound self-absorbed. And I know that is wishful thinking but I feel like lately I am in a constant state of being overwhelmed. Do you ever feel that way? I am sure everyone does at some point.
Tom Petty once said, "It'll all work out." But my question is will it? Will it really all work out?"
-Katie Starlet
Got in my first car wreck today. I don't want to disclose much information about it except to say that I am okay and the thought of disappointing my family is consuming my every thought.
However, I did Race for the Cure this morning and I did feel quite a sense of accomplishment. I went with some of my good girlfriends and they really cheered me up.
I just want to go to sleep and wake up and have every problem in the world fixed, or at least my world. I know that makes me sound self-absorbed. And I know that is wishful thinking but I feel like lately I am in a constant state of being overwhelmed. Do you ever feel that way? I am sure everyone does at some point.
Tom Petty once said, "It'll all work out." But my question is will it? Will it really all work out?"
-Katie Starlet
Friday, April 16, 2010
The One with the Rude Comments
Dear Reader,
Hello followers! I now have three! So do you ever have one of those mornings where you wake up and you just know it is not going to be the day that you planned? Today is one of those days. I got to a class that I rarely get to, let alone get there before class starts, and a girl said to me "Well, look who decided to show up to class." Normally, being the person I am, I could have shrugged that off but I didn't. I said, "Thanks! That makes me feel a whole lot better about myself!" That shut her up. But instead of feeling better, I proceeded to worry about it for the rest of the class. I have yet to apologize to the girl but I imagine I will say something by the end of the day.
To make things worse, after the unbearably long lecture I felt like quitting school. Which brings me to another question: Do you ever feel like you bust your butt to get good grades and not only do you not get them, but people who actually do nothing are getting better grades than you? It is a hard truth to bare that life just isn't fair.
Later, I was sitting on some steps enjoying a few moments of sunshine, because at this point Vitamen D is the only thing that keeping me going, and my "friend" walks past and says, "Hey slut." Now, I know to some of you this may be a term of endearment but to me (the furthest thing from a slut) I am slightly insulted. To some of these people who insult me I think of the things I could call them..."Hey, borderline alcoholic!...Hey, never had a real job in your life girl/guy!...Hey Sir-Sleeps-Around-A-Lot!" I mean technically I could call them equally insulting names but I choose not to because what will that accomplish?
Anyway I am thoroughly distraught because it isn't even noon yet and there is a lot of day left to live where I can further be insulted. So now I am writing a paper, (yeah, the one I didn't finish yesterday) and drowning my sorrows with some milk and cookies and watching Sex and the City.
Ponder this...Is all of this hard work ever going to pay off? And what's up with everyone's attitude?
-Katie Starlet
Hello followers! I now have three! So do you ever have one of those mornings where you wake up and you just know it is not going to be the day that you planned? Today is one of those days. I got to a class that I rarely get to, let alone get there before class starts, and a girl said to me "Well, look who decided to show up to class." Normally, being the person I am, I could have shrugged that off but I didn't. I said, "Thanks! That makes me feel a whole lot better about myself!" That shut her up. But instead of feeling better, I proceeded to worry about it for the rest of the class. I have yet to apologize to the girl but I imagine I will say something by the end of the day.
To make things worse, after the unbearably long lecture I felt like quitting school. Which brings me to another question: Do you ever feel like you bust your butt to get good grades and not only do you not get them, but people who actually do nothing are getting better grades than you? It is a hard truth to bare that life just isn't fair.
Later, I was sitting on some steps enjoying a few moments of sunshine, because at this point Vitamen D is the only thing that keeping me going, and my "friend" walks past and says, "Hey slut." Now, I know to some of you this may be a term of endearment but to me (the furthest thing from a slut) I am slightly insulted. To some of these people who insult me I think of the things I could call them..."Hey, borderline alcoholic!...Hey, never had a real job in your life girl/guy!...Hey Sir-Sleeps-Around-A-Lot!" I mean technically I could call them equally insulting names but I choose not to because what will that accomplish?
Anyway I am thoroughly distraught because it isn't even noon yet and there is a lot of day left to live where I can further be insulted. So now I am writing a paper, (yeah, the one I didn't finish yesterday) and drowning my sorrows with some milk and cookies and watching Sex and the City.
Ponder this...Is all of this hard work ever going to pay off? And what's up with everyone's attitude?
-Katie Starlet
Thursday, April 15, 2010
The One at the Beginning
Dear Reader,
I am actually going to try to stick to this. I am good at sticking to things once I set my mind to it but it can become difficult due to time constraints. I will try and keep this short and sweet because I also have a tendency to talk a lot! First of all, I wish to name each post starting with "The One..." which is a tribute to my favorite show in the world...FRIENDS! Here goes...
Today was beautiful day outside. I enjoyed as much of it as I could. I also got to go shopping and I got an interview for a job tomorrow! I am going to write a paper tonight; my fourth paper this week! That's right...FOUR! Being an English major does mean I can expect to read and write a lot but that doesn't mean good writing comes naturally to me.
I must write my paper so I shall pose this question (without copying too much, I would like to preface this by saying that I would like to end each entry with a question just like Carrie Bradshaw. Judge me if you want.)
Why are people weird? I know this is an unanswerable question but seriously what is up with people? And how do they find me?
-Katie Starlet
I am actually going to try to stick to this. I am good at sticking to things once I set my mind to it but it can become difficult due to time constraints. I will try and keep this short and sweet because I also have a tendency to talk a lot! First of all, I wish to name each post starting with "The One..." which is a tribute to my favorite show in the world...FRIENDS! Here goes...
Today was beautiful day outside. I enjoyed as much of it as I could. I also got to go shopping and I got an interview for a job tomorrow! I am going to write a paper tonight; my fourth paper this week! That's right...FOUR! Being an English major does mean I can expect to read and write a lot but that doesn't mean good writing comes naturally to me.
I must write my paper so I shall pose this question (without copying too much, I would like to preface this by saying that I would like to end each entry with a question just like Carrie Bradshaw. Judge me if you want.)
Why are people weird? I know this is an unanswerable question but seriously what is up with people? And how do they find me?
-Katie Starlet
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